SO LAME that it has been forever!!!

I was reminded by a good friend (ahem, Kristin) to get my rear in gear and start posting some updates on here again. So, here I am.

It is beyond embarrassing how long it has been since I wrote something on here, especially since another CHILD has been born in our family since I last wrote! Heavens. So, Leni is not only the most awesome 2 year old on the planet, he is now a big bro and loving every minute of it. Leo James Henson came into this world in a birthing tub at home on November 28, 2010 and the world has never been the same since. Leni loves his role as a big bro, and calls his brother 'bo dean' and 'squeaker boy.' The bo dean nickname is from a joke between him and I, and the squeaker boy is anyones guess. He talks all the time, never stops really, and thinks he is hilarious. He makes up songs, jokes and dresses himself in interesting outfits daily. He says the sweetest things like 'thank you momma for kissing me' and 'i love you brother, you are the sweetest baby' while kissing him on the head. He gives the best hugs and kisses and genuinely cares about people. He has been sleeping in our bed most nights since I was about 7 months pregnant and I am pretty positive he wakes up in the morning not knowing how he got there. He always arrives on Levi's side of the bed around 2am and Levi doesn't even remember picking him up and laying him on the bed. Baby bro is already sleeping in his crib like a champ. The second child definitely gets less of the dramatic and over the top attention the first child recieves and recieved. It is kind of comical.

Leni started sleeping in a big boy twin bed at about 20 months based on his uncanny ability to scale the side of his crib and jump out. He likes his bed a lot, but likes ours even better (after 2 am that is ;) He potty trained himself right before he turned 2 and we are beyond happy to only have to buy diapers for one child right now. He is obsessed with all things Toy Story and the movie Shrek Forever After. Levi and I know all the words and songs in the Shrek movie as well as Toy Story 2 and 3. Leni even got a Woody doll and had me write his name on the bottom of his boot, just like 'Andy.' He LOVES Fairytale Town, going to the park and trips to Target.

We are going to Disneyland for the first time with Leni in less than two weeks and he can't even handle himself. Anytime he sees anything about Disneyland he says 'We are going there!!!'

Well, more later, baby Leo just woke up and is hungry!!!

16 months!

It has been way to long since the last time I posted. Things get busy, but that truly is no excuse. So, as we all know, the little guy is one. He has been such an amazingly curious, energetic, playful and engaging boy. We have a nanny now that spends time with him three days a week and he just adores her! She takes him everywhere with her....Funderland, the Co-op, the zoo, every park in Sacramento County, out to eat, to coffee shops and just driving around town. She is such a wonderful person and tells me daily how much she loves spending time with Leni.

He talks ALL the time! He says: hi, bye-bye, momma, dada, dog, cat, fish, bird, panda, on, off, see ya, more, all done, bath, water, juice, snack, applesauce, bus, car, plane, fast, diaper...the list goes on. He also said his first sentence when we were in Portland the end of last month: bye-bye bus! A bus was really going by at the time which made it all the more special :) He goes up to everyone and says hi, and wants to kiss and hug everyone as well. This makes for interesting trips to the grovery store, let me tell you.

On Monday we had our second trip to the ER. Elyse called me and said that Leni's breathing was labored and that he was wheezing so I came home immediately and took him to the hospital. Turns out he has bronchitis and some asthma. He now has a baby inhaler, which he thinks is a microphone and proceeds to sing into it everytime I give him a treatment.

Life is so busy. I knew that it would be with both Levi and I working full time, Levi coaching one team and all of our plans with family and friends on the weekend, but you really can't prepare for it until it all happens. I am thankful that I am back at work and that I even have a job, but it sure has been a huge transition leaving the little one all day. At this point I only see him about three or four hours a day if I am lucky. On the weekends I try to spend as much time with him as possible, but Levi and I also like to spend some time together and we like to see friends and family as well. Sometimes it feels like we are always running around, but we can't complain about being so blessed to have such wonderful people surrounding us :)

Leni is such a fantastic little man. I am so thankful everyday for his presence in my life. He has taught me so many things about myself and has really made me realize who I am. I know that becoming a parent has humbled me and has allowed me to see my true 'self' not just the person I would like to think I am in my daily life. That has been really eye opening and inspiring. He also makes me want to be the best person I can be, as well as the best mother. Children really change every thing in your life once that arrive...your view of life, your view of what is important and your view of the world in general. I really can't thank him enough for this gift, and I plan to tell him that once he gets old enough to really understand.

12 teeth in, a visit to the ER and the nicest man in the world.

Leni officially now has 12 teeth IN. It is so crazy....but not as crazy as Labor Day visit to the ER. We all woke up Monday morning happy as clams to have the extra day off. We were planning to go to a BBQ at Nicole and Jason's when Leni starting acting super tired and began to feel feverish. I took his temp and figured it was from teething. We got to Nicole and Jason's and I continued to take his temp fairly often and it read 102 degrees. That is when I had Levi get me the phone so I could call the advice nurse. We ended up at the ER, and at that point his temp had jumped to 104.3. They were all really concerned and ended up having to take two vials of blood, a urine sample and chest x-rays. They had to wrap him all up with just his arm out to take the blood out of his little arm, and then used a catheter to get a urine sample. The tests all came back negative (thank goodness) and we still don't know what caused the temp to go so high. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen. He was laying on me during the entire ordeal and moaning and attempting to sleep. He did a great job and all the nurses and doctors were really supportive and kind to both him and us.

Across the hall from us in the ER was a 70 year old man. He started talking to me and asked what was wrong with Leni. I proceeded to explain the situation and he told me that he had been in the ER the last 5 days out of 12 due to complications with his radiation treatments for lung cancer. He talked about being 'ready to go' and hating that he had to keep going through all this. As we were in the process of getting released, one of the nurses came up to us and said, "I have strict instructions to give this to you, and he won't take no for answer, here.." and handed us a five dollar bill and pointed to the man across the hall. He told us, "I know he is turning a year old soon and I know it isn't much, but we all have to start somewhere. All I ask is that every year you double that amount and start saving for him." At this point I was crying and I just kept thanking him over and over again. He smiled and seemed so pleased to be able to do it. When we were walking out, the nurse said, "Poor guy, he is dying of cancer." Although I knew this, I still was in awe of the whole situation and his complete kindness and generosity. I felt like he was an angel that my mom sent to let us know that every thing was going to be all right. I said a silent prayer under my breath when we were walking out of the hospital for him to be able to go soon in peace, so that he can get his wish and move on.

Fast forward to today and I am still crying over that random act of kindness that we recieved. I have been thinking about that man all week and hope that things have gone the way he wanted them to. Leni has been throwing up off and on for the last three days, but his fever went down to normal by the next morning. Seeing your own child sick and not being about to save them from any of the pain is so unbelievably difficult. It put so many things into perspective and I am so thankful that he is okay. Life just blows my mind so often. Sometimes, when you are in the thick of day-to-day life you forget how special random acts of kindness are. You forget to give them and you forget to take the time to notice them. I learned so many things during that ER visit. I am not happy that it happened, but I am thankful that I was able to really connect to all the things that were going on around me and take the time to appreciate the kindness of a stranger.

Almost 11 months and more TEETH!

This poor baby.....he currently is rocking out with ten teeth....with two more molars coming in as we speak! He will have a total of twelve teeth at 11 months old. Ridiculous. He has been a champ throughout the whole experience and I can't believe that it hasn't affected his sleeping at all. He has been getting used to daycare, but struggles when I go and drop him off. He cries and I have to peel him off me like he is some kind of a leech. Bless his heart. He ends up calming down within about ten to fifteen minutes after I leave and plays with the kiddos and eats a ton!

Emerson, Leni's cousin turned a year old on August 20th. I cannot believe that he is one already and that Leni is only six weeks younger than him. I haven't fully accepted the fact that I am the mother of a soon-to-be one year old. It doens't even seem possible that he has been on this planet for almost a year. What a roller coaster these last (almost) eleven months have been. I have experienced every emotion possible and then some. Wouldn't change one single part of it though. I am excited about his first birthday and also very emotional. It has been such a joy watching him grow into this little person that can speak, crawl, laugh, climb, hug, kiss, clap, wave and various other cool things, but it is also a constant reminder of how fast life goes by. He reminds me to cherish each day and live in the present. Children have a way of making people stop and really just enjoy that specific moment. It is a wonderful thing.

10 months and the arrival of three new teeth...

Tomorrow Leni will be 10 months old. Beyond crazy! He has been hanging out with dad during the day while I work. He has been doing really well with dad, and has even learned some silly new games that his dad has taught him.....they play hide and go seek, a 'chase me' game and a snuggle game with this giraffe rug. He misses me when I leave in the morning for about 30 minutes per his dad's report....he stands at the door saying 'ma, ma, ma, ma' in the most sad voice. He then proceeds to get over it fairly quickly and starts playing with daddy.

I have enjoyed being back at work. It has been very eventful already and I am busy with a good number of clients. My brain has been very overloaded trying to get back into the swing of things. It is very odd being at a desk where it is relatively quiet around me and I can actually accomplish tasks that I start! I can't even believe how much I can get done without a little 10 month old at my heels. I have also been working out at the gym. I am trying to prepare myself to run in my second 1/2 marathon in October. We shall see how that goes; at this point I can run 3 miles without stopping. It feels great to be able to get back into shape again and really put my strength to the test.

Leni was supposed to start daycare tomorrow, but he is sick :( He has his dad's cough and runny nose. We thought he was in the clear, but he somehow got the tail end of the sickness. We took him to daycare last Friday to meet Laurie and all the kiddos and he was in heaven! We put him down, and everyone started laughing at his silly Mowgli-style crawl, and then the kiddos surrounded him and starting handing him toys. He was as happy as a clam and was smiling and laughing at each and every one of them. Daycare is going to be great for him and I am so glad that Laurie is his provider. She is so sweet and loving and all the kids just treat her like she is their family. Leni is going to learn so many things at daycare that I could never teach him on my own. I am really happy how every thing has been going lately. Levi and I are so lucky in so many ways.

We bought Leni some 'big boy' pj's. He is so big now that he is wearing 12 month jammie separates and they are tight on him! It really made me realize how old he is and how he isn't really going to be a baby much longer. He is standing on his own now without needing help pulling himself up, so I am sure that walking will be right around the corner. Levi and I were watching him crawl around the house the other night and it was just so amazing to both of us that we have this little blessing in our life and that he is ours. Babies are so amazing. I am grateful every single day that he is my son. He is our world.

9 months and counting

The little guy is now 9 months old!! 9 months old people!! What is happening?! So many amazing things. Little man is now climbing on every thing (from the dishwasher to the baby gate), standing by himself without support for a few seconds at a time, pulling himself up in a heartbeat, getting his sixth tooth in, eating us out of house and home, loving books and flash cards and enjoying hanging out with his poppa now that he is home for the summer. He is already worrying us since he doesn't want help with anything anymore. He wants to stand on his own, not with anyone holding his hands. He likes to feed himself more than he likes to be fed, and he likes to turn the pages of his books wihtout assistance. All I can say is that we are going to be in serious trouble when that little dude really starts walking. He wants to be on the go as it is, ALL THE TIME!

BIG NEWS: Levi just found out that he got his job back at Foothill Farms Junior High for the 2009-2010 school year. He is beyond excited and I am so happy for him. It all turned out in the best possible way and we are all looking forward to his return to teaching. I too am returning to work--back at River Oak starting the 14th of this month. I am really excited to return to work. It has been an amazing nine months, but I really am ready to be around a bunch of adults and use my 'MFT' brain again. The cobwebs are thick in that brain of mine at this point, so it is going to take me a while to get back into the swing of things. Levi and I are both very thankful to be working and starting new chapters in our lives. I know that I will miss the little man like crazy during the day, but he has his poppa until the beginning of August and then he will have a few days a week with grandma and a few days in daycare. I know that it will be really great for him as well-he will be able to spend some one-on-one time with this grandma and go to daycare and hang with some other little ones.

I absolutely cannot believe that so much time as passed already. He has grown so much in this past month and has learned so many new things. He has hit up two very important vacation spots for both Levi and I--Maui and Capitola--this summer and he loved every minute of them both. He definitely is a beach baby. He hardly even ate any sand in Capitola!! A huge change from Maui, that is for sure. I just love every inch of that little man--from his laugh, to his silly faces, to his 'mad boy' face to his squeals and happy yells. He truly is such a wonderfully beautiful and delicious baby :)


So many positive changes are occuring, and I am looking forward to the rest of this year and the beginning of next. Soon we will be celebrating his 1st birthday. I can't really think about that too much right now without crying a little bit....okay, crying a lot :)

Five years

On May 15th, we hit the five year mark of my mom's passing. I truly cannot believe that it has been five years already. Every year on the anniversary of her passing we do something special to remember her. This year Levi and I took the little man to Muir Woods and Stinson Beach for a day of relaxation and reflection. This year was especially tough for me. It is amazing how well my mind and body remember the chronology of what happened the few weeks before she died up until the actual day of her passing. I always start to feel differently the end of April...this was the week that my mom recieved the phone call from the doctor regarding the brain tumor that they found. About a week or so later she went in for surgery on that brain tumor. She was able to come home for Mother's Day, which was really wonderful. Unfortunately she went back into the hospital four days later with pnuemonia and she passed two days after that. I remember it all so vividly.

Everyday I miss her. I miss how she laughed all the time, how she made up crazy words, how she loved Chardonnay and had a glass every night after work, how she made everyone around her feel like they were the only person she had ever known and cared for in her life, how honest she was, how loyal she was to her friends and family, how she never judged people, and mostly, how much she loved me and supported me every single day of my life. She backed me on decisions even if she didn't agree with them, mostly because she strongly believed that I would have to make my own mistakes to truly learn from them. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Her grace and beauty were so remarkable.....

This year I was sad but mostly extremely angry. I now know what it feels like to love another person more than you love yourself. Lennox is my world and I would do absolutely anything for him. Knowing how this feels, and knowing what my mom went through with cancer and having to share her sickness and her ultimate last breath with me must have been horrible for her. I remember her telling me that she wasn't scared of dying, she was more afraid of how I would handle her being gone. I am angry that she wasn't able to be at my grad school graduation, wasn't able to receive the phone call in December of 2005 about my engagement to Levi, wasn't able to be at any of my bridal showers or help me plan our wedding, how she wasn't able to walk me down the aisle at our wedding and most of all I am angry that she was not able to be at the birth of her first grandchild. I am beyond angry that she was robbed of being a grandma to this amazing little man that fills my heart with such immense joy and love every single day. She didn't deserve to miss out on all of that. I know exactly how she would have been with him. How much she would have loved watching him learn new things, and how much she would have loved to be outside in her garden with him playing all day long. I miss having my mom here and with me. I know that she is here in spirit, and I do feel her around me often, but it really isn't the same, nor is it as comforting as having her here with me to hug, laugh with and talk to. It just isn't the same.

I think about how much I hope I am even half the mom to Leni as my mom was to me. She was my teacher, my friend, my confidante, my inspiration, my heart. I was lucky to have her for the 24 years that I did.